Feb 2021

Emotional intelligence in business...success factor, or just a phrase?

• Why is emotional intelligence still mostly associated with women,

and (mediocrity) men are ashamed of it?

• When are these men open to having emotions too?
• Did enlightenment (started more than 200 years ago, by the way) fail in men's upbringing and thought patterns?
• Why do successful women still have to "play the better men" to gain recognition in their eyes?
• When do men meet women as equals and women no longer perceive men as callous enemies?

In the business world, when it comes to the terms emotional intelligence, intuition, gut feeling, etc., I repeatedly encounter a massive black and white classification by men; "Feelings are something for women, men on the other hand have to show toughness".

But this is not said openly. cowardice, despondency?

These men have not understood that our human world consists not only of black and white, but also of gray areas.

• Can't men see this? Don't you want to see that? Why didn't you ever think about it when you left home?
• Shouldn't they have noticed from their very first affair/relationship that women are different from what they might have learned at home?
• Why did women "let them get away with it"?

What does Emotional Intelligence mean?

Surprisingly, this term only gained public attention as a term in management literature about 30 years ago. It is also often referred to as social intelligence.

Some authors present emotional intelligence as a contrast to the classic concept of intelligence.

In fact, it's about expanding the classic notion of intelligence, in which only cognitive and purely academic abilities are considered a prerequisite for success in life. ^[1]

^{It describes the ability to (correctly) perceive, understand and influence one's own feelings and those of others.}

^{The first area perception of emotions includes the ability to perceive emotions in other people's facial expressions, gestures, posture and voice.}

^{The second area of use of emotions for support includes knowledge about the connections between (one's own and others') emotions and thoughts, which e.g. B. is used to solve problems.}

^{That Understanding Emotions reflects the ability to analyze emotions, assess the mutability of emotions and understand the consequences of the same.}

^{the influencing emotions takes place on the basis of the goals, self-image and social awareness of the individual and includes e.g. B. the ability to avoid feelings or to correct emotional judgments. [2]}

^{For example, one came} meta-analysis from 2011 came to the conclusion that emotional intelligence is more strongly associated with professional success than cognitive intelligence and the five personality dimensions . ^[9]

Empirical studies show that people who are able to control their own feelings and those of others are more successful in their professional and private lives; they suffer less from mental disorders, have better personal and professional relationships, are happier and less prone to unfavorable habits such as smoking, unhealthy eating, etc. ^[8th]

Have the terms EQ and empathy perhaps been flattened "suitable for management" by the popular and management literature and only appear as bland and thus as a cliché?

Emotional intelligence in practice

"Showing toughness is the only leadership tool to turn things around."

“As a manager, I have to be technically better than my employees. They should see and feel that. That's enough to be a good leader."

For both I claim: No! On the contrary. Has no lasting effect and empathy is also a qualification!

Both only serve to generate short-term "successes" while at the same time demotivating the employees.

As a result, the performance drops again and the manager has smashed "even good china".

Demanding and promoting is still valid. Both mean that I have to think about my employees. Both professionally and personally/emotionally.

However, please do not confuse demands with harshness, but rather friendly, respectful, appreciative, but consistent demands for previously agreed or contractual services.

This also includes the ability to coach. But: A coach is not a "senior teacher", but he develops the ability to pick up employees where they are at the moment and takes them (encourages them) with them on the entrepreneurial journey.

And this is not just the case today, because I had this experience 30 years ago; had sustainable, human and thus also economic success.

Try it. You will be surprised.